Relationship problems

From infancy to old age, relationships are fundamentally important to our existence.  Who we are, how we grow and how we achieve things is strongly related to the many different relationships we experience throughout our lives. 
Human relationships are complex but healthy ones should ideally be mutual ones.  A happy balance of give and take, where each person’s needs are mostly being met, is a good guide to how healthy your relationships are.

Understanding relationships means understanding the “relational needs” of everyone involved.  In order for these needs to be met, we need meaningful connections with others who are in tune with us and who are sensitive and responsive to our relational needs.

Recognising relationship problems

Perfect relationships probably do not exist.  They all have the potential to be a source of happiness or a source of distress.  Most will be a mix of healthy and unhealthy characteristics.  All relationships, be that within families, marriages, romances, friendships or at work, require maintenance and effort.

Although all relationships can at times be stressful, a healthy relationship should bring more happiness to your life than stress.  ​

Signs of an unhealthy relationship might include the following:  feeling lonely; feeling misunderstood; feeling controlled (or that you need to control); feeling pressured to behave, act or dress differently; having no shared interests or mutual friends; a general lack of equality or fairness or happiness. 

Recognising that some of these themes are present in your relationships does not necessarily mean the relationship should end.  The overall balance of happiness to stress is the important measure.  If you can identify which aspects of your relationships are causing you distress then this gives you something to work on that will in all likelihood benefit all sides of the relationship.

How I can help?

As an Integrative Counsellor I will give a lot of attention to us working together to understand your relational needs. Becoming aware of these needs, in ourselves and those close to us helps us understand what is driving emotions and what is motivating behaviours.

We will look at areas such as boundaries, attachment styles and parenting styles, past and present. We may also make use of CBT and EFT throughout our sessions.

If you have relationship problems you would like to discuss, please feel free to contact me.

07825 120 060

info@clearcounsellingni.uk

Contact Form